


Please Don’t Ask Me That (now i’m traumatized, thanks)

by LaughingFreak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Established Relationship, F/M, dean wonders why him, that's way beyond his friendship boundaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingFreak/pseuds/LaughingFreak
Summary: Cas and Meg have a thing. Dean’s not sure if they’re calling it dating or friends with benefits or what, but, honestly, he wasn’t much of a fan so he didn’t think about it. That no thinking about it idea is good in theory, but it’s Cas and Meg.
Relationships: Castiel/Meg Masters
Kudos: 17





	Please Don’t Ask Me That (now i’m traumatized, thanks)

**Author's Note:**

> This seemed really funny to me, so I had to write it.
> 
> Now did Meg make Cas do it on purpose, is the question XD

“Meg was wondering if you’d join us for a threesome.”

Dean choked on his cheeseburger, coughing and hacking until he was able to breathe like a normal human. Cas waited and handed the hunter a napkin. “What the hell, Cas?!” yelled the hunter as he wiped down his shirt.

His day started out perfectly normal. There were no hunts to be found today, so he spent it tuning up Baby while Sam holed himself away in the library with Kevin doing research. Eventually the two nerds went out to get fresh air (well, he pushed them out the door so he wouldn’t have to hear them argue about a translation they were trying to rewrite into English).

All he wanted was his goddamn cheeseburger, that’s all, and this is what he gets.

He wondered who was laughing at him upstairs this time. Or if God decided he wanted to torture him today for whatever reason.

“Meg finds me very satisfactory in bed and I’ll take care of you.” Cas tilted his head in thought, then added, “Meg is a tease, but very adventurous, I’m sure you’ll enjoy being with her as well.”

“Cas, no, not gonna happen.” Dean placed his face in his hands with a groan. Shoot him down now, please, don’t make him beg. “Do you even want to have a threesome? Or is it all Meg?”

“I’m not against the idea, depending on who joins us.” He looked the hunter straight in the eyes, serious. “You are always welcome to my bed, Dean. Meg doesn’t mind.”

The idea of Cas having sex with Meg and being with the demon he didn’t get and he really didn’t want to, honestly. Having the image of the two of them having sex made his nightmares worse and if he had to choose between watching Sam and Kevin pussy-footing around each other and running into Cas and Meg making-out against the wall again Dean would choose watching his brother painfully try to discreetly take care of the prophet and shoot puppy eyes at him. And watching Kevin checkout Sammy like he wanted to climb him like a tree or cuddle together in a pile of blankets watching rom-coms or something was just as painful.

He wished the two would just get together already, for the love of god, and the sooner the better.

Dean closed his eyes and waited to be struck down (come on, there was a goddamn line, why hasn’t someone zapped him dead yet?). “Yeah, we’re done with this conversation.”

“If you change your mind.” And then the angel was gone in a flutter of wings.

There was no need for the angel to finish that statement for the meaning to be clear to the hunter and Dean was going to ignore the implication. Hell, he was going to try to forget this conversation ever happened with the help of lots of alcohol.

Changing his mind was not going to happen, god no.

* * *

Dean was working on Baby when he heard his brother call out to him. He sighed and finished what he was doing before coming up from under the hood and looking at him. It had only been a few hours after Cas spoke to him (about what he was not going to think about because it didn’t happen and no one was going to tell him differently) and he had gotten some leeway on the damage on his girl. The look on his brother’s eyes were wide with shock and eyebrows reaching his hairline.

Well, that look was comforting. It made all the warning signals in his head just start blaring in red and it was either run or ask about it.

He didn’t even get to decide which was the better option (because today has been nightmare inducing enough, but he wasn’t thinking it, shut up, brain), but Sam spoke before he could.

“Did you get asked to join Meg and Cas for a threesome?” asked Sam, looking uncomfortable.

Dean looked at him and then turned to go back to working under the hood of the impala, checking out at that moment because nope, nope, it didn’t happen.

Sam made a face at that reaction and said, “I’m going to find a hunt.”

Thank god. “Make it a good one.”


End file.
